Prophetess Laneen A. Haniah

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Victoriously Free!

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I was born as a bouncing baby girl full of hopes, dreams and joy – just like every baby is. But the cruelty of destiny and the injustice of fate began to shape my course before my dreams were even defined. When I was only two years old, I was regularly molested by a lesbian babysitter. During that same critical year of my life, I was raped by one of my male relatives. My childhood memories include watching pornography, seeing people have sex in front of me, lying in bed next to people who were masturbating and being instructed on how to do it to myself, playing with sex toys and being casually and haphazardly touched in my intimate places by male and female relatives just as a matter of habit.

I quickly became a product of my environment. I started masturbating at the age of five, developed a fond interest in pornography, took on a homosexual nature and attempted to have sexual intercourse with boys and men. If you can believe it or not, my greatest desire at the age of five was not to get my favorite doll or to grow up to be a movie star; it was to see a penis. That is how distorted and corrupted my little mind had already become. Proper guidance and nurturing surely would have allowed me to heal and get back on the path of success. Unfortunately though, all of the adults in my life were too busy getting intoxicated and indulging in their own sexual fetishes to even notice the hell that I was going through.

Life outside of my home was no better. I suffered rejection as far back as I can remember. From the time I was six, other girls were calling me ‘lesbo’ and ‘dyke’. Then when I was eight, I was struck with a terminal illness. The illness crippled my body and the medication that I was taking caused my face to look funny. I was viewed as an absolute freak by my peers and thus bad matters only got worse.

I was crushed when I was told by doctors at the age of ten that I would not be able to have children due to the medications that I had to take. As soon as I was old enough to grasp the concept of a future, I always dreamed of being a successful author, happy housewife and doting mother. Other than seeing a penis (gigglz), getting married and having a beautiful family one day was my life's goal. I wanted to make the type of family that I did not have. How could that dream of my future be taken away from me at such a young age?

With very little hope left, I soon turned to the only thing that I had always known - sexuality. Gradually increasing in my sexual appetite, at the age of 15 I graduated from having sex with only myself and my toys, to intercourse with males. I avoided using protection when I could because I did not care about my life or health at that time. I was looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places, and I was determined to prove those doctors wrong. I wanted to have a baby. I thought having sex would help me find love, but truly it only led to more rejection and self-hatred. Before long, I had gained a reputation as the 'neighborhood tramp'.

By a year later at the age of 16, sex is all I knew. I left my mother’s home so I could fully embrace my new life of addictions. My spirit was shattered and my soul was scattered. Before it was all said and done I was an alcoholic, drug addict and dealer; gang member; incarcerated several times; in mental institutions twice; held at gunpoint four times; raped three times; jumped and stabbed; involved in lesbianism; a stripper and a prostitute; sexually involved with over 200 people; infected with STDs 8 times; and nearly dead three times from very serious suicide attempts!